Killer kitchen knives fit for zombies

June 5th, 2012

Appliance Talk Kitchen

Hot on the heels of the United States Centre for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDCP) remarkable statement that “there is no zombie apocalypse” and following on from our highly successful blog, Appliances for surviving a zombie apocalypse, we bring to you a set of knives for fighting zombies.

With the catch phrase “Blades don’t run out of ammo” and blade names such as ‘pestilence chopper’, ‘death dagger’ and ‘famine tanto’ it’s hard not to get behind the Ka-Bar knives.

But first, why in the world is the CDCP making official statements about zombies? Well, it comes after a spate of cannibalism attacks in the US. We won’t go into the gory details, but you can read about it here. It seems people might have forgotten that zombies are fictional.

Now, back to the blades. There are four of the black steel blades with toxic green handles: war sword, pestilence chopper, death dagger, and famine tanto.

Apparently, in an imagined zombie apocalypse there is death, famine, pestilence and war.

War. And then it happens. The dead rise, and your life is in danger from something far more sinister than scurvy,” reads the online advert.

Then, it’s time for action.

“Stab and slash those zombies dead with Ka-Bar Zombie Killer Knives. Small, quiet, and easy to use, knives are the ultimate anti-zombie weapon for those trying to keep a low profile.”

 

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Having once had to sit on the washing machine to stop it from bouncing into oblivion, Keri is today delighted with the new (smoother running) technologies that make housework easier every day. A self-confessed lazy-bones, Keri seeks out quirky inventions that ease the human workload, such as the robotic vacuum cleaner (wow). And as soon as someone figures out a Jetsons-like self-cleaning house, she will happily lay her pen to rest and retire from appliance journalism. Until then, her pick is a fridge that will tell her smartphone when it's time to pick up more beer on the way home. Magic.

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